Burn Bibles not the Flag

The Senate vote on Flag desecration is going to be close - possibly a one vote difference either way. Should the Senate pass this Amendment, protesters of government policies (right, left, and middle of the road) will need a new symbol to get media and citizenry attention. I recommend protesters turn to Bible burning as the new alternative.

Why Bibles? Bible burning is the perfect way to draw attention to your cause. In fact, it will probably draw more attention and ire than Flag burning ever did. In addition to television, newspapers, and blogger coverage, your protest will be covered by virtually every Church at weekend services.

Bible burning can be used by all political persuasions. Those opposing fundamentalist religious policies like gay bashing can burn King James versions. Fundamentalists might burn a New Revised Standard Version or a New American Standard Bible. Die-hard Republicans might consider burning The Jefferson Bible.

Those favoring building walls along our Southern and Northern boarders to keep out immigrants might burn Spanish and French versions of the Bible. And there are always gender neutral Bibles like Today’s New International Version that should appeal to Promise Keepers and other groups that insist on the man as head of the family.

Supporters of hierarchy might burn Gnostic Bibles. They say history repeats itself.

Unlike burning oil, we won’t run out of Bibles. As the best-selling book for hundreds of years, Bibles are found in every hotel/motel room and in nearly every home. Even I, a skeptic, have several. And should Bible burning really catch on, it could be a boom for the publishing industry which has experienced some rough times.

Bible burning is the perfect sequel to a Constitutional Amendment endorsing idiolatry. What better way to demonstrate our Flag’s Godlike status? With greater protection for Flags than Bibles, we can finally end our denominational squabbling united in the one true religion of nationalism.