Professional Analysis of Bush's Surge Speech

I not only watched Bush’s speech last night but I took copious notes.

As a professionally trained observer of human behavior (please, don’t try this without proper supervision or training), I have identified the most important aspects of Bush’s speech.

Bush was dressed in a black suit with a heavily starched white shirt and a blue tie. The President was freshly shaved. His eyebrows and hair were nicely trimmed. His hair parted on the left. On his left lapel was a tiny American Flag pin. There was no hanky in his breast pocket and nothing at all on the right half of his suit.

President Bush looked straight ahead with both eyes open except for a few blinks. There were three deep wrinkles in the center of his forehead. For the most part, his thin lips largely covered his teeth. His ears appeared to be symmetrical.

With his arms at his side, he used no hand gestures. In fact, his hands were not visible during the entire speech. Rumor has it that he was crossing his fingers during much of the speech.

The framing was exceptional. He stood at a podium with two nearly invisible microphones. There were no American flags in the background.

Over his left shoulder were five book shelves. Many of the books were little red ones. Black the next most common book cover color.

Over his right shoulder was a fireplace mantel with a lamp. No light was coming from the lamp.

As for the speech itself, he did not end it with "God bless America."